Poems to Make Children Laugh by Wonderful Egar Lear

EGAR LEAR:   FUNNY POEMS

 

There was an Old Man in a tree,

Who was horribly bored by a bee.

When they said “Does it buzz?”

He replied “Yes, it does!

It’s a regular brute of a bee!”

 

 

 

There was an old man on the Border,

Who lived in the utmost disorder;

He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat,

Which vexed all the folks on the Border.

 

 

There was an Old Man with a beard,

Who said, “It is just as I feared! —

Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,

Have all built their nests in my beard.

 

 

There was an old person of Nice,

Whose associates were usually Geese.

They walked out together, in all sorts of weather.

That affable person of Nice!

 

 

 

Six Blind Men & An Elephant: Funny Poem

It was six men of Indostan, to learning much inclined,
who went to see the elephant (Though all of them were blind),
that each by observation, might satisfy his mind.

The first approached the elephant, and, happening to fall,
against his broad and sturdy side, at once began to bawl:
‘God bless me! but the elephant, is nothing but a wall!’

The second feeling of the tusk, cried: ‘Ho! what have we here,
so very round and smooth and sharp? To me tis mighty clear,
this wonder of an elephant, is very like a spear!’

 

The third approached the animal, and, happening to take,
the squirming trunk within his hands, ‘I see,’ quoth he,
the elephant is very like a snake!’

The fourth reached out his eager hand, and felt about the knee:
‘What most this wondrous beast is like, is mighty plain,’ quoth he;
‘Tis clear enough the elephant is very like a tree.’

The fifth, who chanced to touch the ear, Said; ‘E’en the blindest man
can tell what this resembles most; Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an elephant, is very like a fan!’

The sixth no sooner had begun, about the beast to grope,
than, seizing on the swinging tail, that fell within his scope,
‘I see,’ quothe he, ‘the elephant is very like a rope!’

And so these men of Indostan, disputed loud and long,
each in his own opinion, exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right, and all were in the wrong!

Nellie the Elephant – Cute Poem and Song

 
To Bombay
A traveling circus came
They brought an intelligent elephant
And Nellie was her name.
One dark night
She slipped her iron chain
And off she ran to Hindustan
And was never seen again

 

Nellie the Elephant packed her trunk
And said goodbye to the circus
Off she went with a trumpety-trump
Trump, trump, trump

Night by night
She had danced to the circus band
When Nellie was leading the big parade
She looked so proud and grand
No more tricks
For Nellie to perform
They taught her how to take a bow
And she took the crowd by storm

The head of the herd was calling
Far, far away
They met one night in the silver light
On the road to Mandalay

A female is always the head of a herd of elephants

Nellie the Elephant packed her trunk
And said goodbye to the circus
Off she went with a trumpety-trump
Trump, trump, trump
Nellie the Elephant packed her trunk
And trundled back to the jungle
Off she went with a trumpety-trump
Trump, trump, trump

Did you like the poem?  Are you happy that Nellie is free to be with other elephants?

Kitty in a Basket: Cute Poem and Song

If there’s someone in the city doesn’t want a little kitty
Tell them put the little kitty in a basket
Leave the little basket outside my door
And I’ll love the little kitty for evermoreWrap the kitty warm, you never know about a storm
And I don’t want a little kitty with the sneezes
I’ll hug her and I’ll squeeze her, never never tease her
Want a little kitty in a basket

No matter ’bout the colour of her nosey
Don’t care if she’s a fella or a girl
Don’t have to be as pretty as a posey
And I promise not to laugh if she only has a half-a-tail

If there’s someone in the city doesn’t want a little kitty
Tell them put the little kitty in a basket
Leave the little basket outside my door
And I’ll love the little kitty for evermore

Savin’ up a dollar and I’m gonna buy a collar
If she’s lookin’ for a home, please won’t ya ask it
Don’t want a little tiskit, or a little tasket
Just a little kitty in a basket

I’ll warm her milk and dress her in pyjamas
I’ll make a bed for her in Daddy’s shoe
And if she starts in cryin’ for her mama
She can bring along her mama and her sisters and her brothers too

Don’t have to be as pretty as a posey
And I promise not to laugh if she only has a half-a-tail

If there’s someone in the city doesn’t want a little kitty
Tell them put the little kitty in a basket
Leave the little basket outside my door
And I’ll love the little kitty for evermore

Wrap the kitty warm, you never know about a storm
And I don’t want a little kitty with the sneezes
I’ll hug her and I’ll squeeze her, never never tease her
Want a little kitty in a basket

I’ll hug her and I’ll squeeze her, never never leave her
Want a little kitty in a basket

(Miaow)

 

 

Children Are Like Flowers: by Angela Charles

This blog can be for your parents, teachers, coaches or just for you.   If you are a kid reading this…..realize that you are special.   Be kind to others.  Alway do your best.

 

 CHILDREN ARE LIKE FLOWERS

Water them with love

Nourish them with praise

Compliment them

Each and every day

Be their sun.

CHILDREN ARE LIKE FLOWERS

that blossom every day

Little pieces of us

And everything we say

by  Angela Charles

Some amusing quotes:

Children are like wet cement.  Whatever falls on them makes an impression.

Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there’ s always one determined to face in an opposite direction the way the arranger desires.

When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.

The Bare Necessities: Song from the Jungle Book

The Bare Necessities
Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
Old Mother Nature’s recipes
That brings the bare necessities of life
Wherever I wander, wherever I roam
I couldn’t be fonder of my big home
The bees are buzzin’ in the tree
To make some honey just for me

When you look under the rocks and plants
And take a glance at the fancy ants
Then maybe try a few
The bare necessities of life will come to you
They’ll come to you!
Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
That’s why a bear can rest at ease

With just the bare necessities of life
Now when you pick a pawpaw
Or a prickly pear
And you prick a raw paw
Next time beware

Don’t pick the prickly pear by the paw
When you pick a pear
Try to use the claw
But you don’t need to use the claw
When you pick a pear of the big pawpaw
Have I given you a clue?
The bare necessities of life will come to you
They’ll come to you!
So just try and relax, yeah cool it
Fall apart in my backyard
‘Cause let me tell you something little britches
If you act like that bee acts, uh uh
You’re working too hard
And don’t spend your time lookin’ around
For something you want that can’t be found
When you find out you can live without it
And go along not thinkin’ about it
I’ll tell you something true
The bare necessities of life will come to you
Look for the bare necessities
The simple bare necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bare necessities
That’s why a bear can rest at ease
With just the bare necessities of life
The bare necessities of life will come to you
Songwriters: Terry Gilkyson
The Bare Necessities lyrics © Walt Disney Music Company

Eight Amazing Animals by Monty Edwards

Eight amazing animals

by Monty Edwards

 

Animals ev’rywhere always amaze:

Big beefy buffaloes quietly graze;

Cats with their claws out can climb and can scratch;

Dogs dive for balls using teeth for a catch;

Elephants’ ears are as big as can be;

Foxes from hunters can speedily flee;

Gentle giraffes are remarkably tall;

Heavyweight hippos have ears that are small.

I like the ibex. It surely can climb.

Just don’t wait for zebra. I haven’t the time!

Going to School in Japan

Let’s start with a few facts.  Japan has a population of about 127 million.  Tokyo is the capital city.  Here is a map and the flag of Japan.

The school year starts in April.  To enter Grade One, a student has to be six years of age.  Students learn practically the same subjects as learners in Western Cultures.  The vast majority of Japanese students do not skip school or arrive late for class.

Celebrating Japanese Culture – Haiku Poetry

Haiku, a form of poetry, was first developed over 400 years ago.  It is a well loved Japanese style of poetry and known world-wide.

                              Line 1: 5 syllables or beats

                Line 2: 7 syllables

                Line 3: 5 syllables

Here is an example

Winter is coming.       (5)   Topic is winter

Snow will be arriving soon.  (7)  Something about winter

We should get our skates.   (5)  Your opinion

                                                                                                                                                     1         2   3     4    5                                                                                               Win-ter is  com-ing

                               Topic: Tired Cat

Tired cat sleeps all night.

He needs lots of rest for a

Long day of napping

TOPIC HOMEWORK

My homework is late.

My dog ate it this morning.

I sure like my dog.

 

You will notice that line 1 is a topic:   winter, cat, homework

                             line 2 is about your topic   snow, rest, dog

                             line 3 is your opinion, conclusion ending

The Wedding of the Painted Doll – Lyrics from 1929

When I was in kindergarten, our class sang and acted out this song.  I was a flower.

THE WEDDING OF THE PAINTED DOLL

It’s a holiday today’s the wedding

Of the painted doll

It’s a jolly day the news is spreading

All around the hall

 

Red Riding Hood

and Buster Brown

The jumping jack jumped into town

From far and near they’re coming here

Church bells ringing, bringing

All the little dollies

From the follies, with their painted cheeks

Little Mama doll has fussed around for weeks and weeks

 

Shoo the blues, no time to lose

Rice and shoes will spread the news

That it’s a holiday,

Today’s the wedding of the little painted doll

Here come the bridesmaids

Look at them in their places,

Look at the fancy laces

Look at them as they smile

All sorrow away

Here comes the bride now

    

Look at the little cutie

Look at the little beauty

Look at the little doll

It’s her wedding day

Here’s the preacher man, oh look

As he takes his little black book

He’s assured he knows his stuff

‘Cos he’s done it often enough

Here comes the bridegroom

 Ready for the service

 Just a little nervous

 Hears the preacher say

 You’re married to stay

Daddy Fell Into the Pond: Funny Poem by Alfred Noyes with Images

 

Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
And then there seemed to be nothing beyond,
Then
Daddy fell into the pond!

And everyone’s face grew merry and bright,
And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
“Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
He’s crawling out of the duckweed!” Click!

Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
And doubled up, shaking silently,
And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft,

 


And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
Oh, there wasn’t a thing that didn’t respond


When
Daddy Fell into the pond!

Alfred Noyes